in America. For good.

and my blog home page and all the buttons still show up in French! Awesome!

As hopefully everyone knows by now, Peace Corps and I, back in September, mutually decided that we were not right for each other. And by that I mean, I decided. No one told me I had to go, and they probably would've wanted me to stay. Anyways, I've been at home now for about 6 weeks. It was a huge decision to come back, one that I had been turning over in my head for several months before September.

I've been thinking about it a lot, and I still can't give a great answer as to why. The work situation probably kicked off my negative thinking, but I think mainly it had something to do with the fact that, after a year living in my village, I felt uncomfortable leaving my house. Not unsafe, just afraid of unwanted attention...which is impossible to avoid when you are the sole American living in a tiny village.

I wasn't getting much work done, either, to be honest. And with my attitude becoming more negative and depressed by the day, I knew it wouldn't be fair to Peace Corps or myself to continue living in a situation that wouldn't positively affect my village or my own mental health. So I made the decision to come home.

Which wasn't an easy decision, if I haven't mentioned that. Now I'm in the phase of re-adjusting to American life, which includes the awesomeness of "reverse culture shock." I didn't really think this was real until...well, September. It's crazy, after only a year away, how different I feel. I've found myself totally overwhelmed by the smorgasbord that is America. The grocery store and its many delicious foods I have no problem with; it's the internet, the tv, the car, and everything else keeping me from just sitting down and reading a book that's bothering me. I swear, I'll probably never finish a novel again.

I have daily urges to buy a bus ticket to somewhere out west, set up a teepee and live off the land. There's an emotional side, too; I miss my Peace Corps friends like whoa, and am jealous they get to live another year or 2 in low-stress Mali. I've been told these are all normal feelings to be having, I just don't know how many of them to keep feeling.

Then there's the job search...I don't even want to go there. This was a great time to come back..you know, a time when the newspaper headlines literally, every day, are telling me how many jobs have been cut since yesterday. Lame.

I might keep writing on this blog, if my life gets interesting again. And if anyone still reads it. For now I'm just gonna lay low, and try to enjoy my holidays. Ciao!